Gone Too Soon…

Why couldn’t she wait? Why couldn’t she have just lived a little longer, a little less than a century, until I arrived? And would it have been so hard for her to have written a few notes, left behind a few breadcrumbs I could follow, a few clues? But nothing; not a word.

It’s bad enough she was gone too soon, but she left so many unanswered questions about her life. From my twenty-first century vantage-point I can access online records, so I know where she lived, but they don’t tell me about how she lived; her feelings, her hopes, her struggles.

How did she cope with the news that her husband had been killed in a railway accident at the end of his shift as a conductor? How did she tell three young children their father had slipped on the snowy tracks between the slowly moving carriages as he jumped down from the train? How did she cope emotionally and financially as a single parent after her husband’s tragic death on that cold November night in 1884?

Did she know her first-born son would not return as he sailed away from his Gothenburg home to make a new life on the other side of the world? Did he tell her he was leaving, or did he really stow away on a ship as family folk-lore suggests, with neither an explanation nor a goodbye? Did she grieve as much for him as she surely did for her dead husband?

Was her first-born son difficult to manage without the guiding hand of his father? Was the decision to entrust his care to the Lutheran orphanage by the time he was thirteen, heartbreaking for her and for him? Was theirs a strained relationship made easier by his departure on a ship that sailed away from Sweden? Was it her that wrote to the Missing Persons column in a Sydney newspaper in 1923, looking for her son Adolf?

Bertha Amalia Alexandra Bergman, why couldn’t you wait for your great-granddaughter to be born in Australia in 1950 so she could meet you, so she could know you, so she could ask you?

You were gone too soon.

Too soon for me to meet you.

Too soon for me to know you.

Too soon for me to ask you….

I Can Identify…

Famous last words in family research:

‘I can identify…’

But can we really?

How often do we look at the multitude of hints available on our Ancestry (or any other) genealogy account and say “oh yes, that’s my ancestor”. We add them to our tree and move on to the next long-lost 4x great-ancestor that we might be looking for.

But, did we reliably identify the ancestor from someone else’s tree, or just take it on face value; the name and time seems feasible, so yep, that must be them.

Meanwhile, the potentially misleading information is shared far and wide across the world, as others seeking someone of that name follow our lead. But what if that person isn’t really our ancestor, and therefore isn’t really the person others are seeking either?

The person we added to our tree generates more hints and information, none of which might be correct. But once again, we figure it looks right so we add great-grandparents, great-great-grandparents, etc., etc., until we have created one heck of a mess in that branch of the family tree. Creating the tangle was easy; untangling it is a whole lot harder.

Where do you start?

You start back at the beginning. When you find the first person you know is correct because you have documentation to prove (verify) it, then move back one generation. Check out the name and dates. Were they old enough to have had the child/children who are listed in the verified generation below? Don’t worry, we’ve all done it; we’ve added a parent who is twelve years older than the child – biologically possible perhaps, but highly unlikely. What doesn’t help is generational names given to children of the same family branch. Four or five generations of William Smith are hard to separate in one tree.

So, how do you verify information?

The best way is to go right to the source. Most cities have records of Births, Deaths and Marriages, and you need to get up close and personal with them, whether it is a physical search in a dimly lit government building or an online search.

Stay focussed on who you are researching, but make a note of anything interesting you might find along the way, just in case (but don’t get sucked into the rabbit hole).

Make sure you record the information you find, and where you found it. I’ve recently started adding a description on my Ancestry family tree, of information I find. When I find details for an ancestor who was born, married, or died in New South Wales (Australia), I make a note in the description for that event, of the registration number, year, and district the event was registered in (if available). That information reminds me that the information is verified, and helps others verify their information if they are researching the same person.

Births are usually searchable if the birth was more than 100 years earlier. My father was born in November 1922, so the day after his (heavenly) 100th birthday last year, I was able to find his birth registration. Marriages and deaths are available for more recent years, at least in New South Wales.

British births and deaths can be found on the General Register Office (Gro.gov.uk) online, with births starting at 1837. You need to register to use the GRO site, but there is no cost unless you order a copy of a birth certificate. Even with the exchange rate in Australia, it is very affordable if you order a pdf copy to be emailed to you.

Another UK site I recently found is FreeReg, but there are plenty of others. Online research puts the world at our fingertips, so there should be no reason we can’t make a valiant effort to validate the information to identify our ancestors. It is time consuming, but not as much as trying to unravel a few generations worth of mistaken identities on our family research journey. Having said that, I tend to place some trust in the information found on the trees of my DNA matches. I figure they should have a reasonable idea of who their parents, grandparents, and possibly great-grandparents were, but I still verify as much as I can.

So, rather than get your branches in a twist, make sure you can say ‘I can identify…’ when adding an ancestor to your family tree. Find the information as far back as you can about births, deaths, and marriages, or census details; record the information; make a note of where you found the records; and add the information to your genealogy program to help others in their search. Sharing information ensures future generations will find their ancestors when we are long gone.

But most important of all: talk to family members about your research – you’ll be amazed at what they remember or know about your family and ancestors. Well, maybe not the family members who roll their eyes every time you mention family history – they’re probably not the best ones to ask – but the others are. Don’t forget to verify the information, and record it somewhere for future generations.

Then you will be able to say with (reasonable) certainty –

‘I can identify…‘, and prove it.